Why the hell would anyone want to buy Milky the Bunny for their kid this Christmas?

Surely, the face of evil?

When I saw this thing on television this morning – it made a brief appearance on the Wright Stuff before they dissolved into predictable misinformed debate about legal highs – I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

But you know what? Milky the Bunny is real. And in fact I’m living with someone who has been in close proximity to dozens of these toys that represent pure evil. Not only close proximity – but has had to stack them on shelves in the local Argos. And has to be near them on a regular basis.

That’s right, Paul has had to handle these toys. He was pretty worried when he first saw them. Just look at those beady eyes – who wouldn’t be worried? If there’s a case for not making toys look like the stuff of horror films, this is it. Obviously the designers and marketers of this product have forgotten about that seminal horror film classic Child’s Play from 1988.

I just hope no parents actually buy this toy for their kids. You put that on the end of their bed and you’ll have them suffering from night terrors for months afterwards. Trying to get psychological help for children in the UK is hard enough as it is – there is no need to give them a reason to need therapy.

In all honesty though, the kinds of parents that will buy this useless piece of commercialism are the same kinds of parents that don’t realise that clowns are scary and that life-like dolls are pretty darn creepy too.

Actually, if I see one out in the wild, I may be tempted to burn it (after removing it from its owner) just to be sure that it isn’t in possession of the spirit of an evil dead criminal.

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