When caring gets tough


Caring for a loved one is difficult enough normally, when you consider the disability/disabilities and/or long term illness(es) that are the reason why you care for them in the first place. It is very tough.

When that loved one gets ill with a cold or another illness, then their pre-existing conditions turn a simple illness into an endurance test on top of a long running marathon. Despite Paul and mine’s best efforts, Gran has caught the cold we have been suffering from since last Thursday.

Normally she can’t do a fantastic amount for herself, but this cold has made things 10 times worse. Being a freelancer means that I can’t afford to take time off work to be around all the time. Frustratingly it has taken most of this week for my parents, who live around the corner, to realise how bad things are with Gran whilst she has this cold.

They have started to help out more today, but this week has been very long and frustrating. Considering that my parents complained a lot when I didn’t have work, especially my Mum (who hasn’t had a job in over six years, because she gave up work when she had my youngest Brother), it really does annoy me when they don’t support me enough when I am working.

It also annoys me that my family seems to forget that I had to get through my most of my BA and all of my MA whilst caring for Gran. Caring for someone when on a full time course is its own form of endurance test.

A few weeks ago, a relative asked if Paul and I paid Gran any rent, I told them no. They tried to argue that we should, I ignored them and moved on, because I wanted to scream at them, “Would you pay rent to your landlord if you had to wipe their ass, clean up their piss or sick? Even if it isn’t everyday. No? I thought as much, so shut the fuck up!” I really, really wanted to scream that at them, but we were at an Aunt’s 60th birthday party and so I acted as cool as I could manage.

Could we afford to pay Gran rent? Paul and I don’t earn enough to afford the rental prices in our local area anyway, plus council tax, electric and water. So yeah… family…


One thought on “When caring gets tough

  1. Yeah, that’s gotta be tough, Em. You’re doing a great job. Caring for someone is a labour of love; you always have to take responsibility because you’re the one on the scene.

    And you know what they say about relatives – you can choose your friends, but you always get dumped with family!

    Keep your chin up; it’s been a long winter but spring’s nearly here!

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