Where’s the Love?

Afraid of the truth in the search for love...

Yesterday a debate “raged” amongst some of the videogames journalists that I tend to interact with through Twitter. The issue was not games themselves, but rather how male journalists in the field sometimes feel that they should not be completely truthful with potential girlfriends on the subject of what they do for a living.

It seemed to evolve from a blog post done by OXM lovely Mike Channell and was soon followed by Strategy Informer’s very own Joe Robinson. Mike has sadly had several negative experiences (i.e. not getting anywhere) when he has admitted that he writes about games, however he accepts that as the popularity of games increases amongst the wider, general population, he’ll find that the truth won’t be so bad. Joe didn’t have any specific situations to recall, but generally felt unable to talk about what he does when entering into conversation with the opposite sex.

Now, I’m not necessarily a dating or relationship expert, so I decided to ask the lady in the know, Tiny Temper, what she thought about this situation:

“How bizarre! That’s gotta be one of the most coveted jobs as well. […] They’ve just gotta be brave and explain that by playing games, they’re fulfilling one of their basic male instincts – shooting, protecting and competing. That’s why so many boys/men are into the COD type games. It just proves they’re all man and operating on pure instinct and testosterone 🙂 It’s a shame really, because the whole X Box joke scenario is just a cultural ‘joke’. Nobody means anything offensive by it – it’s a way of affectionate communication between the sexes, in the same way boys will say, ‘Get in the kitchen, wench and make me a sandwich!’ Nobody actually believes it. It’s a way of saying, ‘Me, girl. You, boy!’ A teasing awareness of gender differences. Your guys should be proud to get paid for doing something they love – not many people can say that about their work.”

So there you have it. If, even after explaining what you do, the woman you’re talking to still doesn’t think you’re worth giving the time of day to, well neither is she.

And Lewis, this also applies to people in general if they look at what you do in disdain:


10 thoughts on “Where’s the Love?

  1. I agree totally! In fact I’ve written somethign recently about dating ‘daddy’s little princess’ – the type that will judge a man on his job (and everything else!): http://thislittlethingcalledlife.com/2010/11/11/dating-royalty-is-no-fun/
    Also, have you tried speed dating? That is the most judgemental situation you can put yourself in! I always try to avoid saying what my job is. Probably explains my lack of success! http://thislittlethingcalledlife.com/2010/07/19/guide-to-speed-dating-men/

  2. Of course, it can work both ways. Think of all the women in video games journalism that must get coveted all the time…

    …Oh by the way. Hands off. Em’s mine! 😛

  3. Good post 🙂 Thanks for the shout-out! And thanks to Tiny as well for her insight.

    I’m not going to lie, my reluctance to say what I do also partly stems from my own personal confidence issues with women, but you’re right – I love my job and feel privileged to be one of the few groups of people who can say that. If a woman looks down on me for it, then she’s probably not worth my time anyway.

  4. Digital Eccentric – she’s definitely not worth your time. Usually when someone is condescending in that kind of situation, it’s to make themselves feel ‘bigger’ or more superior. Really sad. Sorry to sound like a middle-aged mum (I am a middle-aged mum!) but be confident. Confidence is sexy!
    Lewis, that’s horrific. Have we not moved on at all from Victorian society? I have had a similar experience with men on dating sites sending me photos of their dangly bits. I guess it’s down to perceived familiarity on the web. That, and an abundance of socially inept, sick people.

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